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EBW anti drug adds, anyone can add one

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Post  The Hitman Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:28 am

Leo: We interupt your regularly scheduled EBW show to give you this anti drug add

Aaron: Hey Leo you should try this marajuana it is so fun, and its not addictive at all!!!!

Leo: Sounds like fun, let me try some!

--out of no where Ther Hitman falls from the ceiling--


The Hitman: WAIT

--the backround Freezes as The Hitman walks towards the Camera--

The Hitman: you see kids... marijuana is bad... Doing marijuana is like killing a family of porcupines with their mothers needles.

The Hitman: In fact, its illegal in most countries, and you dont want to break the law...who knows what happens when you break the law?


Child: you go to jail?

The Hitman: yes you go to jail, but when you go to jail guess what happens...

--no respnse--

The Hitman: thats right, you'll take a shower, bend down to pick up the soap, and some guy will rape you up your butt...does that sound fun?

kids: NO!

The Hitman: but marijuana being illegal isnt the worst part about it... you see smoking marijuana is like calling all your teachers and telling them "hey I just wanted you to know, I'm a huge dissapointment now" thats not cool, is it?

kids: NO!

The Hitman: Did you know smoking Marijana will give you an extra penis? and this extra penis wont work! so then when you go to have sex, you'll have two dicks, and you wont know which one works, wouldnt that suck?

kids: NO!

The Hitman: umm...

kids: YES

The Hitman: better, you see kids marijuana is bad for you, did you know that 80% of people who smoke marijuana usually end up gay?



kids:WOW

The Hitman: Well kids you see thats not the worst of it... GOD hates people who do Marijuana, and I mean who wants to make god mad? not me thats for sure.

child:me neither


The Hitman: Did you know that people who do marijuana are pretty much 2 billion times as likely to be retarded.

child: no they arent

The Hitman: it hasnt been proven false... thus making it true


Child: whatever



The Hitman: I know, marijuana is just that bad...so what do ya say we give Leo another chance?


kids: YAY!!!!

--The Hitman disapears, and Leo and Aaron are back to normal--

Aaron: Hey Leo you should try this marajuana it is so fun, and its not addictive at all!!!!

Leo:
No thanx man Marijuana is bad... lets do cocain instead!!!


Aaron: YEA I heard that stuff is always safe!!!

--Leo and Aaron walk off into the sunset as they become better friends--


(this message waas paid for by the cocain dealers of america)


Last edited by The Hitman on Mon Jul 20, 2009 11:34 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post  Ja Phipps Mon Jul 20, 2009 11:28 am

--Ja Phipps walks into a room and sits down on a sofa--

Ja Phipps: Hello everyone, tonight i have a very important message for each and every one of you.

--Johnny Tike walks in and sits down--

Johnny Tike: Hi i am Johnny Tike and i smoke!

Ja Phipps: This is a very foolish person. Smoking kills! It harms you in ways you couldnt even imagine. And overall, makes ur dick smaller if you smoke more than 50 a day

Johnny Tike: Really, what about these then

--Johnny holds up some steroids--

Ja Phipps: Steroids? You despicable person. These steroids might have god short term effects but the long term effects are disastrous. 1 is that you may get put into prison in the future and 2 is that it makes ur dick smaller!

Johnny Tike: Really, what about this then!

--Johnny Tike does something of camera, we can hear a zip be unzipped--

Ja Phipps: PLEASE, DRUGS NOT STD'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Johnny Tike: Oh sorry!

Ja Phipps: Anyway, i hope this has taught you a lesson, for you and everyone else. Thank you for watching!


Last edited by VGM Ja Phipps on Mon Jul 20, 2009 11:40 am; edited 1 time in total

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Post  The Hitman Mon Jul 20, 2009 11:32 am

lmao jp
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Post  Dylan Meech Mon Jul 20, 2009 11:38 am

--Dylan Meech appears on Screen--

Dylan: Hello I'm EBW Superstar Dylan Meech with a very important message to all our fans

--Many pictures of EBW Wrestlers are shown--

Dylan: EBW Superstars are professionaly trained athletes, the moves we do in the ring take YEARS of practice to perfect, and to do safely

--Clips of EBW Superstars injuring themselves are shown--

Dylan: Thats why we all take steroids to make it easier to lift each other and... shit...

--Dylan coughs--

Dylan: Erm... we erge all of the EBW Fans NEVER to try and do steroids at home or at Home...

--Clips of Dylan Meech are shown--

Dylan: Stay safe... Don't try drugs...

Guy: Aaaaaaand, cut!

--Dylan relaxes--

Dylan: Fuck me, glad that's over.... Stupid kids, like they're gonna listen to THAT shit...

--Dylan looks puzzled--

Dylan: What? We're still on? WELL TURN IT OFF YOU IDIOT!

End transmission
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Post  The Hitman Mon Jul 20, 2009 11:50 am

Aaron: Hey Leo you should try this marajuana it is so fun, and its not addictive at all!!!!

Leo:
No thanx man Marijuana is bad... lets do cocain instead!!!


Aaron: YEA I heard that stuff is always safe!!!

--The Hitman falls from the ceiling and the screen behind him freezes--

The Hitman: OK well Leo and Aaron both just made huge mistakes... they decided to do cocaine... doing cocaine is exactly like drowning a kitten in its mother's blood.

--The Hitman pauses--

The Hitman: In fact... every time somone does cocaine... sombody gets struck by lightning.

kids: wow

The Hitman: Its a scientific fact that people who do cocaine deserve to die

kids: yea they do!!!


The Hitman: People who do cocaine are pretty much 10 trillion times more likely to die of cocaine overdoses than anyone else...

kids: ewww

The Hitman: If you do cocaine... Your parents wont love you any more...


child: but i love my mommy

The Hitman: Your adopted... any way... Did you know that people who do cocaine kill babies... yes... they kill babies.

kids: ewwww

The Hitman: yes ewww indeed... that is the perfect word to describe cocaine... so now lets give Leo another chance...

--The Hitman disapears ad Leo and Aaron go back to normal--

Aaron: Hey Leo you should try this marajuana it is so fun, and its not addictive at all!!!!

Leo: No thanx man Marijuana is bad... lets do cocain instead!!!

Aaron: NO man... cocaine users kill babies, lets go go have unprotected sex instead.

[color=orange]Leo: YEA!
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Post  Ja Phipps Mon Jul 20, 2009 12:03 pm

Director: Ok everyone! I have been told to tape a few of these so we can use a variation! EBW's Anti Drug Slogan take 1

--Ja Phipps walks into the room and sits down--

Ja Phipps: Hello. You may think Marijuana is cool, well guess what! If you try Marijuana you will be raped by large angry black men!

Director: CUT! Ok JP that was meant to be addicted, lets move onto the next one. EBW's Anti Drug Slogan take 2

--Ja Phipps walks into the room and sits down--

Ja Phipps: Hello. Scientists have recently discovered a link between Marijuana and Homosexuality, Youre not gay are?

Director: CUT! Hey, who told you to use the Gay bit, it was meant to be blindness!

Ja Phipps: Fuck that shit! No kid will listen to this. look HEY KIDS GO FUCK YOURSELVES!

Director: EBW's Anti Drug Slogan take 3

--Ja Phipps walks into the room and sits down--

Ja Phipps: Hello. You may be tempted to smoke Pot to fit in, well guess what! You will never fit in, you fucking loser!

Director: CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT! TAKE 4

--Ja Phipps walks into the room and sits down--

Ja Phipps: Hello. This is your brain --holds up an egg-- and this is your brain on drugs --tries to brake the egg unsuccessfully until it explodes in his face-- FUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Director: CUT, Look, this is the last one, lets make it good please. AND GET HIM CLEANED UP! TAKE 5

--Ja Phipps walks into the room and sits down--

Ja Phipps: Hello. There are over 106 different words for Marijuana. The Eskimos have over 75 different words for snow. COINCIDENCE?





Ja Phipps: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT MEANT TO BE, FUCK THIS IM GETTING PAID JACK SHIT TO DO THIS AND THE ONE I SAY FUCKING RIGHT AND ITS SHIT FUCK YOU.


--Ja Phipps storms out and lights up a splif--

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Post  The Hitman Mon Jul 20, 2009 12:28 pm

lmao
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Post  I Love Cough Mon Jul 20, 2009 12:56 pm

[/url]
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Post  The Hitman Mon Jul 20, 2009 12:58 pm

thats not anti drug...
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Post  I Love Cough Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:00 pm

Yes this is anti- gay. To stop giving Dylan AIDS by a man. xD
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Post  Dylan Meech Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:03 pm

Hey I'll have you know I was gassed, then raped!
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Post  I Love Cough Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:08 pm

If you were gay... That'd be ok xD
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Post  The Hitman Mon Jul 20, 2009 4:37 pm

--The following is a behind the scenes look at filming EBW anti drug adds--

take 1

The Hitman: Hey... if anyone who is watching this does heroine... FUCK YOU!!!!

Director: CUT!!!!

take 2

child: Mr. Hitman... my daddy does heroine and I want him to stop, what should I do

The Hitman:I'd say that while he is sleeping you should cover his face with a pillow, and hold firmly until breathing ceases

The Director: What the fuck was that!? CUT

take 3

The Hitman: Did you know that people who do heroine suck...


Director: ok.... take 5 everybody

--five minutes later--

take 4

The Hitman: Did you know that people who do heroine are 5 times as likely to purchase teddy bears than anyone else...

Director: ITS 5X AS LIKELY TO BE EATEN BY BEARS!!!!!


take 5

The Hitman:Heroine is like killing yourself, its only ok if you are really depressed


Director: CUT!!!!! God damn are you high?

take 6

The Hitman: Did you know that if you do heroine you will instantly become way more popular!!!!


Director: CUT!!!!

take 7

The Hitman: Sharing needles is like taking a community shower, its just a room full of dicks.


Director: CUT!!!!!! GOD DAMN I need some new people


The Hitman: Doing heroine is like cheating on a test, everybody does it!


Director: ... ok... CUT


take 8


The Hitman: Hey if anyone who is watching this does heroine, I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you stop doing heroine now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.


Director: CUT What the fuck, you cant just steal lines from movies!!!


take 9

The Hitman: I had a friend who did heroine... things didnt work out... you see, he filled a balloon, like a hot air balloon full of heroine, and he tried to swallow it... just be careful of the size of the baloon...

Director: Ok... that wasnt bad... if YOU TAKE OUT ALL THE SHITTY PARTS!!!!!! CUT!!!!!



Final take:

The Hitman:did you know that when you share a needle that is not properly sterilized you run the risk of catching many diseases such as poppyidous, swelling of the eybrows, poppyidous inflimation of the mangina, and you can also catch death, and poppyidous.........


Director: *whispers* he finally got one right


The Hitman: but heroine is totally worth those risks!
--Stay tuned for the finished product--
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